I caught a little bit of a writing bug today. I guess I could use a little bit of writing therapy with it being my “year mark” of coming home from my mission. It’s been such a whirlwind of a year, I can hardly believe how fast it went by!
There are a few things that have been on my mind lately. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and feelings and process things sooooooo whether or not it’s worth it to you to read this, it’s been worth it to me to write. If any of you RM’s have any thoughts to add to mine, I want to hear them! Anyway. Here are some
Of my thoughts pertaining to coming home from a mission.
- Yes you get off that plane and come home, but every return missionary “comes home” at a different pace. And that’s okay!
Can I get an amen? Nothing can prepare you, or anyone around you for this. It’s just kind of awful and wonderful all at the same time. I LOVED seeing my
family. I was so excited to hug them and catch up, but after about an hour of being home...I was ready to hop back on the plane and go back. Not because I didn’t want to be with my family but because I felt SO lost and SO out of place. I walked around in a perpetual missionary bubble for the first few months after coming home. I cried every single day for weeks. I was constantly thinking of Montana and everyone there. And that’s what worked for me. I had put my whole heart and soul into those 18 months, and simply getting off a plane and taking off a tag didn’t change what I felt. Eventually I snapped out of it and learned how to balance both of my seemingly different lives, but it took some time. I envy those that were able to smoothly adjust. Returned missionaries who jumped right back into “real life” with ease and grace. I fell face first into it. But Yknow, what else is new?
- Perfect goals and plans? Just you wait.
Ha...haha...ha...ha. I don’t know what it is, but somehow we think the words Returned Missionary and Invincible Superhero are synonymous. I came home with all of these goals and plans I was ready to accomplish. I had the plan to go back to Rexburg immediately, go to school full time, and work part time. I’d be a 100% visiting teacher, read my scriptures every day, and serve faithfully in whatever calling I was given. I’d never take a nap again because I’d be so busy serving and working hard just like I did on my mission. I was a failure if I didn’t do any of that! That went out the window real fast. Even after 18 months of learning decision making skills, I still needed to put those into practice. I’m living in Provo now, doing part time online school, and working part time. That’s just the reality of life! I actually do need to nap. Almost daily in order to survive. And that’s okay, because I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
- The best 18 months FOR your life
If I’ve learned anything...it’s that right there. I can’t articulate everything I’ve learned in those 18 months, much less in the year I’ve been home. There’s just too much. There hasn’t been a single day where I haven’t thought of my missionary experience in Montana. It effects every single action and my decision without fail. Every single good thing that has happened to me since being home, can be traced back to serving in Montana. I’m grateful for how it taught me that change is necessary in order to grow, and growth is ESSENTIAL to happiness.
Well friends. I’ll cry for a little bit today as I’m missing my Montana home. But it’s nice to know my heart has two homes now instead of one. And they’re only 8 hours apart 😏❤️